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Ask the former President of Ford Models a question!

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Alexander Wang's Balenciaga Campaign is Here!

Balenciaga recently revealed Le Dix, its first collection of handbags for Fall 2013 designed by Alexander Wang. If you already saw the teaser video and it whet your appetite for luxury bags, you'll be pleased to see Le Dix featured front and center in the Fall campaign.

And just in case you missed the Le Dix video shot by Toby McFarlan Pond under the artistic direction of Alexander Wang, here you go!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Most Common Makeup Mistakes, and How to AVOID Them! :)

My BFF and original makeup muse Miss Holland :)
photo credit: Blake Jones....
People often ask me, "what's the most common mistake you see women make with their makeup?" and I say, "well, sister, how much time you got to hear my answer?!".. Now, I'm not being a buttface, but, there are SOOOO many simple mistakes I see women make their everyday approach to makeup that I thought it was time to write a piece on the "most common" mistakes I see in my everyday life.... But, do NOT feel bad girls, I always say to women that makeup is trial and error, I wasn't as AMAZING as I am at painting faces when I first started out, ask my BFF Holland, I had that betch lookin like a CRAZY person sometimes when I would try out new looks on her!! So, don't be too hard on yourselves ladies... and remember this.. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THIS PLANET IS BEAUTIFUL- its all about figuring out how to paint your face to BRING OUT that beauty :) 

1. Eyeliner- Something that really erks me to no end is when women apply HARSH eyeliner on the lower lash line and do not blend it or highlight it. If your liner appears that it was put on with a fat tipped sharpie marker, something is off.... Harsh lines in makeup immediately age a face... I love lower liner, but it HAS to be softened and blended after application... You can do this by using a blending brush and lightly smudging it, or by applying a light highlight or shimmer over it. Same goes for the top, if its too intense, you look older and trashier, soften harsh lines in makeup with shimmery shadows or loose highlights, its literally a fool proof way to make sure your liner is never too dark.

2. Blush- Wow, where to even begin on this one :) First girlies, blush is AMAZING... and I think it looks CRAY CRAY if a girl has on a crap ton of face makeup and little to no blush.. the look is incomplete and off balanced, so, do NOT be afraid of blush. Next, BLUSH IS MEANT TO BE APPLIED ON THE CHEEK BONE! Yes, I know, some makeup artists and tutorials claim that you should apply it to the "apple of your cheek", well EFF THAT! :) If you apply it on the apples of your cheeks, it can make your face look more round... you want the blush to attract the eye away from the center of your face and go outward, much like a cat eye draws the eye shape outward... Blush is meant to help contour your face to appear to be thinner, leaner and more structured, so... if you have 2 big round circles on your cheeks, you are going to look round faced! Also, blush comes in a VARIETY of shades and colors! So, get it out of your head that blush is only pink! Peach colored blush is AMAZING, so is blush with a lavender undertone... try new things! its the only way to carve out your signature looks!

3. face makeup- hmmm, this one's a doozie! Well, lets start with the basics... mistakes- colors not matching, not blended down the neck or jawline, too much "wet" makeup, too much shine or hightlight in the face powder or bronzer, makeup ends up looking or feeling "like a mask"... well, ALL OF THIS CAN BE AVOIDED! lets go one by one here...1. colors not matching skin tone- you wanna know a little secret? that I never thought I would admit too? I use the SAME concealer and foundation shade on every single one of my clients, mind boggling, I know... but, how I do this is SHADING with a matte bronzer. I apply all the face makeup, start with a fresh clean canvas without all the redness, darkness or bumps a face may have, I call it "taking the face back to 1" meaning, one color.. then through the use of blush and bronzer I tweak the color to match the rest of the clients skin on the chest and shoulders, your face should not look like a completely different shade than the rest of your body. 2. not blending down the neck/jawline- This is a mistake I see ALOT from everyday women and makeup artists alike! You have to blend your face colors down your neck from your jaw, THERE SHOULD BE NO LINE OF COLOR AROUND YOUR JAW BONE, blend blend blend ladies! 3. too much "wet" makeup- I only use wet makeup (aka liquid concealer or foundation) around the eyes, cheeks, and nose, and I am VERY light handed with it. For the rest of the face, I use powder or mineral foundation. Wet makeup can look heavy, waxy, and not realistic.. I have watched some women apply liquid foundation and its terrifying, they pour a gallon into their palms, work it around, then apply it like war paint or Spackle to their entire face.. this is a no no... 4. too much shine or highlight in the face- This is a VERY common mistake, the only place on your face that should shine are your cheekbones, so when people use a shimmery powder or bronzer over their entire face, they look greasy, shiny, and like Robert Pattinson from twilight shining in the sun! Avoid shimmer related products for the entire face, apply them only on the cheekbones to bring out more structure to your face (remember highlights bring things forward, and darkness/contour colors recede). 5. "Mask like" makeup- This goes back to application and placement of wet makeup... if your face or head looks like it could be placed on another body because its a completely different color or tone from the rest of your body, you're not doing it right. Makeup should feel and look effortless and fresh, not caked on.... the culprit most often is too much liquid or wet makeup, be light handed with your liquid concealer or foundation ladies...

4. "Smokey" eyes- Yes, I LIVE for a good smokey eye... but only when done properly!!! It should not look messy, unfinished, like raccoon eyes, or like you got punched in each eye! The biggest culprit? "Falldown" in makeup or eyeshadows, "falldown" refers to excess shadows falling down or spreading under or around the eyes.. and sometimes women just leave it, or smudge fall down into the bags of their eyes, then you just look like a tired old crack whore... if you have falldown shadow, simply SWEEP it away with a large brush, do not use your fingers or a q-tip, because it will press the shadow into your skin, lightly sweep it away with a foundation brush! Also, women either go WAY overboard with shadow and liner, or barely put on any at all, there is a fine medium we can achieve my sweet girls. Remember to highlight and soften and harsh lines, whether that be your dark crease color or your black eyeliner, you want your EYE to standout, not the harsh lines of the makeup, if makeup is softened and blended properly, all the attention goes to your pretty peepers and their shape and color. Also, if you are going to use a lot of shadow and liner, you need a FULL lash to balance it out... Mascara can be applied as many times as you want until it gets clumpy, and if it does, simply get a eyelash comb or clean toothbrush and pick out the clumps. Remember to add shimmer and highlights to a smokey eye, especially in the inner corner and at the browbone, these things make a smokey eye look complete and finished....

5. Lip Color- If you are going to wear alot of eye makeup- KEEP THE LIP SIMPLE! If you want to wear red, or a bright or funky lip color, KEEP THE EYE SIMPLE... the sign of a true prostitute is red lipstick and a blue based smokey eye, and white pumps, but this isn't a fashion piece :) I LOVE interesting lip colors, like bubblegum pink, or bright fuchsia or purple, or even reddish brown lips can look RAD, but remember to keep the eye light and shimmery sweet makeup sisters... 

6. Thinking that expensive makeup will make you "more beautiful" than the cheap shiz- MAKEUP IS JUST COLOR/PIGMENT! Just because it says "Chanel" on it does not mean its going to turn you into a supermodel! I use makeup from Target, Walgreen's, dollar tree, and walmart, and I still look like a damn ken doll when i want too :) Unless you have a KNOWN ALLERGY to a certain ingredient, makeup is makeup, so don't be fooled or swindled into buying unnecessary shiz. My favorite brands are Maybelliene and E.L.F products....

If you have any other questions my lambs, my facebook is ALWAYS there for questions or to make an appointment for a makeup shop, tutorial and one on one instructional :) DO NOT BE AFRAID TO TRY NEW THINGS MY LOVES! its the ONLY way to get better at your makeup approach, like my sweet daddy always said, "practice makes perfect", so get to practicing on that beautiful face of yours ladies! I love you all more than you will EVER know..

your makeup BFF,



Friday, August 23, 2013

All About The Benjamins: FORBES List Of Highest-Paid Models

FORBES released their annual list of the world's highest-paid models and it should come as no surprise that Gisele Bündchen has topped it for the 7th year in a row. Her savvy business sense puts her leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the pack, raking in 7x more than second place holder Miranda Kerr. Bündchen can attribute her success not only to her modeling, but to her partnership with Grendene, her cosmetics company, Sejaa, and international contracts with the likes of Pantene, Oral-B, and Sky HDTV.

Here's the Top 10

1. Gisele Bündchen - $42 million

2. Miranda Kerr - $7.2 million

3. Adriana Lima - $6 million

4. Kate Moss - $5.7 million

5. Liu Wen - $4.3 million

6. Hilary Rhoda - $4 million

7. Carolyn Murphy - $3.6 million

8. Joan Smalls - $3.5 million

9. Candice Swanepoel - $3.3 million

10. Lara Stone - $3.2 million

Is there anyone you're surprised to see on or left off of the list? Comment and let us know!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

ASK JOEY: Don't Be Afraid To Be Commercial!

One of my favorite things to do is to review portfolios on ModelWire Network. Many of you don't have specific questions, but are eager to welcome feedback that could help push your careers in one direction or another. When reviewing portfolios, it seems that a lot of you shy away from "commercial" photos. I know of lot of models dream of being the next famous supermodel, but don't be afraid to seek work in commercial print and television. There are many more opportunities in the commercial world for all different looks and types. Make sure you have the photos in your portfolio to highlight the commercial side of your look!

I would like you to look at my profile and tell me what you think - if there is something that I need to change or enhance. Based on my profile, are there agencies in L.A. you would suggest I contact?

Your portfolio is very commercial so I hope you are taking advantage of all of the great acting classes available in L.A. There is definitely a lot of competition out there, especially with your look and type. From your photos, you have more of a commercial look than fashion modeling. If you are interested in pursuing fashion modeling, make sure to test test test. You'll need more of those shots in your portfolio. I definitely see you having a commercial acting and modeling career. There are lots of commercial agents in L.A., so I would start by contacting them. Don't be afraid to contact the heavy hitters as well as some of the great boutique agencies who work with fewer clients.
I would love for you to review my portfolio. It would be so great to get your feedback!
I like your book and think you're off to a great start. Have you seen anyone at Ford or Factor in Chicago? Your portfolio is definitely good enough to find an agent. Once you've found one you like, let them work with you on improving it more to their taste. They will let you know what kind of photos they'd like to see, test you and can recommend photographers in the area to help build upon the great foundation you already have.
Would you mind taking a look at my portfolio and stats? I would love to know what you think of my look and images. What do you think I should work on?
I like your book for fashion modeling and think it's definitely good enough to present to agents in L.A. They will let you know what they want to see more of in terms of additional photos. As far as your stats, you've got the right height for fashion. Your hips may be big for some sample sizes, but you certainly can't tell from your photos! You look very slim and obviously know how to pose to get great results.
I would love for you to review my portfolio!
I like the pictures you have so far, but you definitely need some full body shots. You've got a very commercial look and should also consider adding some business type shots and more traditional commercial headshots. You have a great look, so definitely get yourself a commercial agent if you don't already have one. You're in NYC, so there are plenty of great agencies you should be able to meet with. You've definitely got the right look to get in the door.
I'd love for you to review my portfolio and give your feedback/advice!
You've got a great look but your book is too much fashion. I see you as a very commercial type who could work a lot in commercial print and television. Try incorporating more commercial type pictures into your portfolio - headshots, sports shots, business attire, boy/girl shots, etc. Take a commercial acting class to see where it leads you! There are a lot of great photographers, stylists and makeup artists from NY on ModelWire Network you could shoot with to diversify your book.

In the meantime,

Have a successful day!


Follow me @TheJoeyHunter

Thursday, August 15, 2013

6 "John Dye" Approved Feel Good Movies on Netflix to Watch Right Now!

Okay, I'll admit it, I have the entertainment taste of a California tween girl, but I don't care! You know why? When I sit and fill my mind with images from movies and television, I do not want to see murders, blood and guts, or things that cause me to be uncomfortable or feel anxious... So what, I like cheesy movies, its one of my many guilty pleasures.... so is bad girls club on oxygen, if you haven't seen that, you biotches are missin out! Anyway my sweet DYE-hards, here's a list of movies on Netflix RIGHT NOW for you to enjoy. :)

1. "Geek Charming"- This is a Disney movie starring Sarah Hylund from ABC's "Modern Family.. Where do I begin on my love for this movie... Well for starters, my BF asked me on our first date what my favorite movie was currently, I unabashedly said with a proud voice of confidence "Geek Charming"! It is so sweet, funny, touching, and just a damn good movie. I could be on a shame spiral from hell, and all I need is this movie and all feels right in the world again... fun fact, Sarah Hylund met and began dating her co-star Matt Prokop on the set of "Geek Charming" and they are still together 3 years later, and live together in Los Angeles... 

2. "Beauty and the Briefcase" - Okay, I'll admit it, I LOVE HILLARY DUFF! I love her music, I love her movies, I love "Lizzie Mcguire", I love "Cinderella Story", I love her okay? Well this was her last big movie before she stepped away from the limelight to become a mother to her son Luca, and honestly, I think this is her best film. Its insanely well written, funny, sexy, the hair and makeup AND the clothes are FABulous. Its also the sexiest and most scandalous we've seen miss Duff, talking about sex, men, and some racy jokes... I love this movie ya'll, and so will you!

3. "Wish Upon a Star" - Katherine Heigl's only great contribution to cinema besides "Knocked Up". If you didn't watch this movie when you were younger, I honestly do not know how you have made it this far... Her and her sister "Haley" switch places in the movie... one being a popular biotch with the perfect boyfriend, social circle, car, and looks, the other a brainy, shy, and very sweet bookworm. The story of how they are forced to see through each other's eyes and the lessons they learn will have you in tears by the end... The music from this movie is also amazing... I have put quite a few tracks from the band in this movie, "Moonpools and Caterpillars" on mix Cd's over the years... If you don't tear up at the final scene at the prom, you are a robot... for sure, you are a robot....

4. "Cowbelles"- Another Disney movie starring Aly and Aj... Anyone who has known me over the years can recall my long standing obsession with this sister act team of actresses/singers. This movie is super cheesy, but it is very enjoyable on a bored rainy day. If you have never checked out their music, you're missing out, their songs "Division" and "No One" are two of my favorites...OHHH and their Christmas Album is MAGIC! Anyway the two girls are spoiled rich bratty teens who are forced to work on a farm after their wealthy father dies. Hilarity and Hijinks's ensue.... PLUS the guy from this movie is hotttttttttttttt! He can be my cowboy any day! :)

5. "Camp Rock" - I've said it before, I LOVE this movie... I love the soundtrack, I love Demi Lovato, I love it all.... Now, let me warn you, there hasn't been a bigger letdown like "Camp Rock 2" til Lady Gaga's new comeback single "Applause" debuted to pooptastic results :/ so don't watch the second one, why did they even have to make a second one? why mess with success, but Disney does have a long standing tradition of "cheapening" their classics by adding sequels and thirds.. like "little Mermaid" 2 and 3 ... was that really necessary???????????? Anyway, this movie is about young Mitchy Torres, who wants to go to the prestigious summer music camp called "Camp Rock" to achieve her dreams in the music industry...her character is sweet, brave, and courageous... Truly one of my favorites, AND do yourself a favor and download or listen to "This is Me" the acoustic version by Demi on Itunes or YouTube, its such a beautiful song with very affirming and encouraging words.... "This is real, this is me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now, gonna the light, shine one me".....

6. "Clueless" - I know what you are all thinking, " WHO HAS NOT SEEN CLUELESS?!?!?!" Yes, it defined a generation, yes, it changed our words and our vernacular, yes, it changed fashion trends and styles forever, BUT..... I am meeting people (usually younger than me) who HAVE NOT seen this classic and important gem of cinema.... I'm not even going to dignify this entry with a description of the plot or its characters, all you need to know is that if you haven't seen this, YOU NEED TOO, like RIGHT NOW, or I might not be able to have you in my life anymore.... I wanted to be Cher Horowitz SO bad in middle and high school, I still TO THIS DAY catch myself saying lines from Cher to people without realizing it!!!!!!!! This movie defined my younger years, it would mean a lot to me if you watched it if you already haven't!

happy movie night my lil dye-hard lambs!!!!!!

love, your gay BFF fo life playa,


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

ASK JOEY: Finding The Right Agent

Whether you are new to the business or have experience and are looking for a change, finding the right agent can be tough. Start with smaller agencies who will get you out there while you build your portfolio. Take your time and find someone who you will work well with, and always be cautious when meeting with unknown agents or scouts. Some will try to take advantage of models eager to get repped. Use your best judgement and you'll find the perfect fit!

I would love any advice you might have about acquiring a modeling manager/agent. I know I have what it takes, I just need to be in the right room. Any advice you have on how I can improve my portfolio would also be more than appreciated.

Your look is more on the commercial side of the modeling business so definitely keep working on your acting as well. You've got a good start to your portfolio, but it could be broader in terms of different types of pictures. You have a lot of headshots, which are great for meeting with talent agents for commercial work, but you'll need more diversity to sign with a print agency. (Try collaborating with some photographers on MWN who have good fashion shots in their portfolios.) Luckily you are in L.A., so make appointments and insist on seeing agents in person! 
I would love to hear some constructive criticism. Please take a look at my portfolio and let me know what you think. Also, I've been contacted by a modeling scout who claims to place models with all the top agencies. We have set up a meeting at a cafe because he says he works more from a home office. Does this seem legit? It's hard to tell in this business who's real and who's trying to scam you.  
Your portfolio could use a little work, but it's definitely in the right place to get you in the door. If the agents like you, they will get you tested. As for model scouts, some are honest and some are not - you really have to trust your gut. Meet him in a cafe and feel him out. Find out who he scouts for and make a call to find out if he's telling the truth and the agency knows him. Whatever you do, do NOT give him any money. If he places you with an agent, the agency will pay him.
It is my dream to be represented by FORD. I have read so much about the agency and I like how they mold their models into success stories. I know you are asked this question all the time but what does FORD look for in a model? I'm 5'9" and have an interesting look. I wish FORD had open calls because I would love to meet with someone and show them my portfolio. Any suggestions?
FORD does hold open calls. (You can find out when and where they are here.) You can also submit to them online. For FORD, your book will need some work. Definitely more fashion shots. Since you are in New York, there are a lot of agencies like FORD you can interview with. Most will have open calls, so find out when and get out there and meet with as many as you can!
I have two small agencies in L.A. but have been trying to go with a bigger agency. L.A. Models said I was cute but the wrong bone structure, elite said they have girls that look like me, and FORD, Vision, Photogenics, etc. all just said no. Any advice? Are they politely telling me I suck?
They are not telling you that you suck, simply that you're not right for them right now! For now, stay with the smaller agents that are getting work for you. Most people would die to have a rep working for them. Take this time to work on expanding your book and defining your look. It's all about timing. 
I was with Vision in New York and am eager to get with an agency in L.A. Who should I go to first and how should I go about doing it?
Why not Vision in L.A.? If you are still repped in NY or parted on good terms, they should be able to set it up. They have a well run agency in L.A., so that's definitely where you should start. Also, MWN has scouting features for ModelWire agencies and you don't have any stats on your profile. Make sure to add them so you're not overlooked!
In the meantime,

Have a successful day!


Follow me @TheJoeyHunter

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Lookbook: 3.1 Phillip Lim for Target

The loobook for Phillip Lim's Fall 2013 collab with Target is here, and we're jumping up and down in delight. The collection (officially dubbed "3.1 Phillip Lim for Target") will feature looks for both men and women, as well as shoes, bags and accessories. Price points range from $19.99 - $299.99, so there is definitely something for everyone.  

The looks are effortless and chic, and are sure to be favorites among the fans of Target's designer collaborations. 

Monday, August 12, 2013

Jennifer Lawrence Covers Vogue

Jennifer Lawrence has landed her first Vogue cover! Not only that - she nabbed the cover of the coveted September issue. Hollywood's "It" girl got her start at 14 when a model scout photographed her in New York's Union Square. In the issue, Jennifer talks about deciding to be an actress and why she chose to do the Hunger Games films. 
"When 'Winter's Bone' was getting nominated [for an Oscar] I had only done indies, and suddenly I was introduced to this brand-new world where I didn't feel like myself. I was in these weird gowns and listening to people talk about things I didn't understand. And I remember reading that in [The Hunger Games] and being like, Oh my God, I know exactly what this feels like. I don't know what it's like to get ready for your death, but I do know what it's like to be almost a puppet. And then when I was making the second film, I had become more acquainted with that world, and I think that's something that Katniss experiences. She is different when she comes back [in 'Catching Fire']. She does feel more comfortable in the Capitol; she understands the people more, and it's not as eerie and scary and unfamiliar. She kind of knows how to work the system."

We love Jennifer and can't wait to pick up the issue, hitting stands August 20th!

Celebrity Gossip Roundup with John Dye

Justin Bieber NAKED all over the Internet!!!! When is this kid gonna grow the EFF up! Queen Latifah "REFUSES" to come out as a Lesbian :( ??? Julia Roberts makes fun of half sister for being fat- SO much so, that she got Gastric Bypass over it?!?!? Why is Kevin Jonas still famous, and don't even GET me started on that Annoying Wife!!!

Justin Bieber plays NAKED prank on his grandmother over Thanksgiving? Now I'm all for pranks on Nana's... but not a prank where my JUNK might be out!

This freggin kid yall! Either family or entourage members have leaked naked photos of Justin Bieber to the press, showing the singing wearing NOTHING but a guitar over his package. Where do I even begin on this shizz! GROW UP, quit spitting in peoples faces, QUIT trying to fight people/paparazzi, QUIT being such a little DOUCHE bag! Fame is something that SO many people want and try their whole lives for! Some even die for it or because of it! This behavior and downward spiral of his is getting OUT OF CONTROL! Make music, be kind, cover up, get some effing HUMBLE pie, and perform music, cause that is your job title- singer..... I cant even imagine pulling a prank like this on my grandmother Nana... I would be MORTIFIED for my sweet southern Nanny Poo to see my goodies!!!! The mere thought of it makes me want to go get RE baptized at church! do they even do that? Cause now this mental image of me flashing my Nana has me in a shame spiral from H E double hockey sticks! Grow up kid! Get it together!

Queen Latifah flat REFUSES to publicly come out... ummm COWARD?!?!?!

Homophobia is rampant in the black community, it contributes to the phenomenon of black men being on the "down low" and still having wives and kids :( which isn't fair to anyone involved... Queen Latifah is refusing to discuss her personal trainer girlfriend on her new talk show. Even though there have been multiple pictures confirming the relationship.... She has SUCH a great opportunity to break down barriers in both the black community and the gay community! It makes me sad to think that because she believes she will lose fans, she refuses to admit something that NO ONE CHOOSES TO BE! Think of the people she could inspire to truly be themselves, but... she won't.... and it makes me sad... so sad that I have no witty or silly comments to even write about this story.. :(

Julia Roberts is a BITCH, duh, I've heard this many times from people in the biz, but making fun of your sister so much about her being "fat" that she has gastric bypass? MEGA BIOTCH!

A story has come out from Nancy Motes, Julia Roberts's half sister, that Julia is a MAJOR bully and total biotch. She said that because of Julia's taunting and fat jokes, she underwent gastric bypass because she felt so terrible about her appearance! I have known actors that have been extras on her movies and they were directed NOT to talk to Julia, look at Julia in the eyes, or interact with her in anyway, or they would be quickly escorted off set! WOWZERS, I mean I like "My Best Friends Wedding" as much as the next gay, but its not like I'd be knocking people over to rush up and go introduce myself to her botch ass... But ... how great is "Steel Magnolia's", I'd probably get escorted off set for yelling "Shelby! you betta drink that juice girl!" Get off your high horse skinny minnie, family is family!!!!!!!!! And sometimes it comes back to BITE you in the butt- I made fun of my sisters for having zits mercilessly, then, guess who had acne like a biotch in high school, this queer.... As queen Beyonce would say, "what goes around comes back around" :)

Oldest Jonas and manish wife, why do these people have their own show??? Why are these people "famous" ? and what is happening on his head, is that even called a "hair-style"? or just called a mistake?!?!

Why..... WHY!!!!! Why do the most random and annoying people get shows now?!?! The only thing the Jonas brothers have ever contributed to this world is a minor role in "Camp Rock" which is arguably one of the best pieces of cinematic gold of all time, but- the middle Jonas did most of the work! Camp Rocks soundtrack is AMAZING too, that Demi and Joe duet- "This is Me"?!?!?! Do you know how many times I've listened to that driving around in the rain- crying with taco bell all over my face and lap.... Talk about a life affirming GEM of a song..... but this Jonas? Kevin and his bobo wife, and her Jersey nosejob need to disappear into obscurity sooner than later.... and that nose job.... yikes... makes me wonder what her BEFORE pic looks like if that was the finished product on the way out of the surgeons office! E! I'm begging you, from a mother to a mother, please cancel their show... and I have an idea.... bring back E! True Hollwood Story instead, cause, I truly will never "make it" until I have one of those- an Oscar, Tony, People's Choice all PALE in comparison to the true Hollywood story treatment, but wait a minute..Snooki had one... damn it MTV, why you gotta go and eff everything up by making that botch famous!oh well...

John Dye <3

Friday, August 9, 2013

Celebrity Gossip Roundup with John Dye

Chris Brown has a Seizure and "refuses" Treatment!?! Lohan is "begging" Mother Dina to go to Rehab! Amanda Bynes Meltdown- Everything you Need to Know that Has Happened! Miley Cyrus and Handsome BF Liam are Looking Pissed and Bored on the Red Carpet! Its Whitney Houston's Birthday Today, She would Have Been 50 Years old Today :(

Chris Brown has seizure at recording studio?!? But he "refuses treatment"? p.s. he is terrifying, like my childhood nightmares magnified!

A frantic 911 call placed from a recording studio had the Los Angeles Fire Department RUSHED to Chris Browns side after a seizure! But he reported "refused" treatment and kept saying "he was fine". There are reports coming out that this is not the first time he has suffered from seizures, leading people to speculate that it might be drug or alcohol related... I mean when I was in rehab (PS I'm 30 days sober today :) I would watch crazy people be wheeled in, and they too would refuse immediate medical attention, cause DUH, they are BONKERS on any number of kookoo things! I usually was just trying to get pop tarts and rice crispy treats out of the office while people were brought into intake, and normally it "busted" me from getting my treats out of the locked office.... If i sound bitter, its cause I still am.... I mean, if you are an addict, and they take away your goods, at least give my fat ass some delectable delights to ease my pain and frustration !... But who am I kidding, rehab was like summer camp for impaired adults, we watched a lot of episodes of "Scrubs", played tag outside and marco polo in the pool.. and I would get my guitar out and we would all do sing alongs to Taylor Swift, bible- all of this is true 100%, so if you end up in treatment don't fret, some facilities are actually a blast... Oh i forgot about the slip and slide that we had.. it was magic after a long and painful group session...

Lohan pleads with Kookoo mchoo Mother Dina to "get sober for me mom!" AND for yourself too Dina! I mean did yall SEE that Dr. Phil interview?!?! She was high as a kite and drunk as a SKUNK!

Lindsay Lohan is supposedly "begging" her Mother Dina to seek treatment for substance abuse so they can "be sober together"... Ummm, for once, I TOTALLY AGREE with Lindsay! Dina is NUTS, if you have ever seen her in interviews or on TV, that botch is always 28 sheets to the damn wind! I swear in one episode of the short lived E! reality show "Living Lohan" I could literally smell the booze coming off of Dina through the damn television screen! And as someone who is now sober, I agree with Lindsay, its REALLY hard to keep friends and family who use and drink in your life if you yourself are sober... I will be praying for Dina, and her awful orange year round spray tan... GET IT TOGETHER lady! You are too old for your daughter to be BEGGING you to get clean.. FUN FACT ONLY I would know cause I'm like a ridiculous "early Lohan" fan, Dina ALWAYS made cameos in Lohan's films growing up, it was in Lindsay's contract that she HAD too! What a fame whore stage mother! I can literally pick Dina's crazy ass out from the crowd in "Parent Trap" "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" and "Freaky Friday", how you ask? Cause I know those movies by heart biotches, and I'm not ashamed to say it.. I own all 3 and watch them religiously... to say that I like cheesy teen movies would kind of be the understatement of the YEAR! :)

Amanda Bynes Meltdown- Every major development from her epic and well publicized meltdown! I think I know "What a Girl Wants" and to bust out of the crazy house!

My sweet Amanda.. what happened my love! You were such a STAR! Well, the breaking news is that her parents DID in fact win in court to be formally "in charge of her assets, life, and management" until a Judge deems she is competent enough to take care of herself again. This whole story breaks my heart... It all started 2 years back when she was FIRED from the Jason Sudeikis and Owen Wilson movie "Hall Pass" for "irrational and irregular behavior", which Amanda denied and cited "scheduling conflicts". Then she announced on Twitter that she had "retired" from acting and was no longer interested in fame.. Then this last year reports starting coming out from increasingly worried friends and family concerned with Amanda's "irrational and paranoid" beliefs and behavior. She allegedly starting taping her windows closed, putting towels over smoke alarms and her car windows because she believed that "people were watching her from secret cameras and microphones placed around her and her friends homes". Then she started her twitter WAR with every celebrity from Rihanna, to The Obamas, to Miley Cyrus, calling them all "ugly", which started a trend in Amanda's OBSESSION with peoples appearance and weight, along with her own... She talked about how she "was getting a whole new face through cosmetic surgery" because she "was so disgustingly ugly"... Cut to a week ago where she tried to light a woman's driveway on fire holding her small Pomeranian dog,who reportedly got drenched in gasoline which is toxic :( , and her signature "crazy and ratted blond wig".. When the cops questioned her, her bizarre answers led them to decide that she needed to be held on a "psychiatric hold" and she was admitted to a mental treatment facility, aka the crazy house... WOW that was alot of typing for me, but here we are today, and we just learned that a California judge has granted her parents control over her life and assets until she is well, and able to make decisions on her own... This whole story is sad and all to familiar- a child actor gets too much fame, too early, and it skews their perceptions of reality :( I LOVE Amanda's movies, and I even remember her on "All That" on Nickelodeon! I own 5 Bynes movies, and although she is not the best actress per say, her movies were cute and comforting.. I'll probably watch "What a Girl Wants" tonight, or "She's the Man", but come on, you KNOW I'm not looking at Bynes in that movie, my gay ass is DROOLING over a young Channing Tatum.... he must have played a parking ticket in that movie, cause that boy had FINE written ALL OVER HIM! boom!

Miley and Liam, GIVE IT UP! Its off its on, you don't even look like you're trying to fool us anymore!

What is happening here.... at least PRETEND to be happy with each other! this is getting ridiculous... I know you aren't the most gifted thespian Miley, but come on sister friend, put a lil more of a show on for us if you want us to believe that "everything is great" with the two of you! Liam looks constipated, drunk, bored, and almost like a angry Alabama trucker husband ready to yell "go get me another beer biotch!" Either poo or get off the potty on this relationship kids, cause these red carpet appearances are NOT helping the cause... figure it out and get back to us okay my loves? love, uncle johnny

Today would have been Whitney Houston's 50th Birthday! Some highlights from her career through the eyes of John Dye's crazy ass!

Oh my sweet Miss Houston, I miss you baby girl... But who am I kidding, I miss that Bravo show "Being Bobby Brown" with you the MOST, cause that's when you were your most, hmmm colorful shall we say? But in all honesty I'm a huge fan of this beautiful woman's music, and her story should not have ended by drowning in bathtub because of an alcohol and sedative mix, its heartbreaking :( Yall my sisters Amy and Jenna were HUGE Houston fans growing up, and subsequently, I was too, cause we WORE THOSE albums OUT in our house in the late 80's and early 90's. I can remember cleaning my house to hits like "Where do Broken Heart Go", "I'm Your Baby tonight" and my favorite "How Will I Know"... I love it when my friend and Drag Superstar Ebony Sinclair performs Whitney's hits at my local gay bar, I swear she looks JUST like her sometimes, LOVE you Eb! WAIT- I just remembered something- there IS a VHS tape of me at 8 in a wig dancing and singing to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" floating around my parents attic right now... damn If i can find that tape I scouts honor will upload it to youtube for us all to laugh at... You are missed sweet girl, you are truly a legend, and your music and spirit will forever live on in your millions and millions of fans :)

John Dye <3